Every star that can be imagined is here in a cornucopian kaleidoscope of incandescent colour - there’s an international superstar - a shooting star - a star man waiting in the sky - a 5-star spa hotel with sauna and reflexology treatment room - a massive, luminous ball of plasma held together by gravity star - and a twinkle, twinkle little star.

Forget X-Factor - a Funky Button all-star bracelet - resplendent with more than 30 of the glitteriest stars ever - is the only way to get noticed - get signed and get yourself that stretched pink limo complete with rotating cocktail cabinet - so whatya waiting for? - let’s charge our glasses with an obscure fluorescent blue alcopop and toast “Hello” “OK” and the luvvvverly Paparazzi - cheers (hic)!